I am so fat. Legit. Last time this year I was 115 pounds. I have been eating 1000 calories for the past like 3 weeks..and I am 130! 130! WTF?! At the end of October I was 120..and I've been eating 1000 calories and I'm gaining weight. It doesn't matter that I burn it all off. Or when I eat it. Or that the foods are like fruit and veggies and no fat yogurt..i still gain weight. and my stomach looks realllly bloated..like i'm like 4 months pregnant literally. and when i touch my stomach it is like hard..like as if someone blew up a balloon in my stomach. and my thighs are starting to touch :( i can not stand this nor do i understand it :( and my face is breaking out! :(
i hate my fucking self.
i want to die.
or take diet pills.
or something.
i eat when i'm bored. and i hate it!
instead of doing homework, i'll go into the kitchen and go get food..why?!
i have no idea! i'm not even hungry :(

help.

i feel so lost right now. i cried when i came home. i've had nothing today but a bottle of water..and i didn't lose anything. not a single ounce. i hate myself and i just feel like a can't do anything right now. i'm on a liquid fast until i lose all this weight. but apparently it's not working :\ i hate how i look and how i feel. i just can't stand it. i want to slice of my flesh and be skinny. i hate this. i really wish i had someone i could talk to when i was at home, someone who i could IM online when we're bored who understand what i'm going through. but none of my friends know about it. i just don't know what to do anymore. i hate how i look so much.

God I am so fat! I don't even know what to do right now. I HATE this! I can just like feel the fat coming onto my body. I HATE THIS! I want to look skinny. Now people are telling me I look healthier..aka I'M A FUCKING FAT TUB OF LARD! I will not be like this. I'm going to Florida over February break, and I will not be looking fat! NO! I will not allow it. BLAH. I feel like I've just lost my will. :( Help.